My father My Friend

As my father and I are preparing for the end of his time in this earthly body, we still have work to do. An avid research scientist, we are still needing to video him discussing his work in hopes that his research can live on after he passes. Our window for filming shortens each day as his ability to carry on conversations diminishes. We have time scheduled over the next four days to get it done.

I realized as I was talking with him today that the thing I fear the most is the day that I can no longer see him. As much as one thinks they’re prepared, I am not sure one is ever fully prepared. Over the last year of my father‘s illness we have become very good friends. We talk about anything and everything and today for the first time I realize how much I will miss his friendship. The loss of a father and the loss of a friend.

Yesterday I was shown beautiful vibrant colors as if in a garden; it felt unlimited, expansive and vibrant with energy and life. I know this place is different than the black and white that my heart has been experiencing here. I thought maybe these vibrant colors signified something I would be learning or experiencing. I believe now that this garden signifies what is waiting for my father, a place of outstanding beauty, joy and other-worldly vibrancy. I am finding myself a little envious that my father will get to explore and enjoy this place, and that this place will get to enjoy my father.

My grandmother assured me in spirit that she will be there for my father, her son, when he passes. And for that, I am eternally grateful.