Living in Color

A few days ago, my friends gave me an energetic healing. As they connected with my spirit guides, they described what they were seeing. Delphine spoke of my grief over my father’s illness and preparation for his passing. Caroline saw my intense relationship to spirituality and that was where I was seeking my comfort. Hilary saw that I had been living my life in isolation and void of connection, life, or color; everything was in black and white.

They saw my body hanging on a cross in respect, devotion, and connection to Christ. I was surrounded by serious, devout energy and was very comfortable staying there. They lovingly showed me that living in the future in pervasive grief and fear was not in my best interest. In the meantime, I had been missing months of time allowing others in emotionally or connecting with my daughters.

Energetically, my daughters entered and showed how they missed my spending fun times with them. Indeed I had been lost in my thoughts, nurturing my emotions, feeling my pain. How could anyone expect me to be having fun while I was mourning the loss of my father? It would seem sacrilegious to be silly at this time. Somehow I thought if I was enjoying life I was being disrespectful to my father and unappreciative of what he was going through.

Caroline started laughing. Energetically she was shown my daughters grabbing handfuls of colored paint and throwing them onto the image of my white body on the cross. I responded, “You can’t throw colors on me; I’m on the cross, and this is serious business!” My daughters laughed and persisted. They surrounded me with love, perhaps equal to or greater than the love that I fear will be lost with my father’s passing. My daughters used this love to fill holes that I had in my emotional and heart chakras. Slowly, color was allowed back into my life, and I saw that it was not only okay but better for me.

Living in color would not diminish the love I have for my father; it would not lessen the pain I would feel when he passes. I saw the importance of living in the present. It finally made sense to me that I could honor my daughters and the love that we share, enjoy them in the here and now, even while experiencing grief. These two emotions do not need to be mutually exclusive. Thank you, Caroline, Hilary, and Delphine, for the gift of love and for giving color, connection and joy back to my life. My prayer is that you all might have color and joy in your life, even while walking through grief.